THE IN-BETWEEN TIMES...

Since this new part of my life's journey, there are several "helps" I have had along the way.  Most prominent is the Lord;

John 15:5

New International Version (NIV)

⁵ “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."

The VIP's, are my husband, Bob, my children, my parents, my siblings, my cousins, other family members, and my dear friends.  Without their support and prayers, my propelling movement would be much slower towards the goal of finishing this race.

I need to mention my job and therefore, my boss.  When my husband first contacted my boss, he alerted him to my being in the hospital and that tests were being performed.  After the surprise diagnosis, I contacted him  myself.  For over two years I had worked with this man and enjoyed my working days so very much.  The professional manner my boss dealt with on a day to day basis is remarkable.  I knew very little about his personal life, but that is the acceptable process, just the normal "conversational" chit chat that most people share.

There is an amazing part to this....my boss shared with me that his own father had been through this experience of having a brain tumor.  I do not believe in "coincidences", because I believe our purpose here is pre-destined by God.  All I can say is, "I am always amazed...but never surprised"!  Because of my bosses  own personal experience with his father, there is a complete understanding of this process that I need not explain constantly.  So; DONE; my FMLA leave has been activated without any specific issues.  

I have spent more time reading the Bible and praying.  My relationship with the Lord has been strengthened through all of this.  His constant reassurance has led me to remember that my time here is but a wisp, a vapor, and that someday I will be with Him in Heaven.  There is no fear in this aspect, I have known it for a very long time; my only concern is for those I would leave behind.  In the meantime, while I am still here, I have asked Him to guide me to share His message of Love and Hope and Salvation.

And then there is my "piece-o-me's" that I started years ago. Things that I wanted to make and share with those who are so precious in my life.  I like to quilt, write, and other certain crafts at times.  I love to share these pieces with as many as I can.

Admittedly, there are times that I just want to do nothing.  Just be.  My favorite time in these periods is to sit outside and enjoy the beauty of the sky, the stars, little creatures and thank God for the world around me.  

Communication has become a "huge" part of my life as well.  Knowing that my speech and hearing have been somewhat affected has drawn me closer to 'staying in touch' with those who I love and feel connected to.   Just saying hello to my neighbors or writing on my Facebook page has brought simple pleasures in each day.  

All and all through the waiting, the determined phrase I keep telling myself is:
He's Got This!

OUR 2ND OPINION PROCESS BEGINS

October 20, 2013

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzDOEWoBJNs

This is a Sunday, and my birthday!  My husband and I travelled to Jacksonville, FL to make sure we would be on time.  Our early morning appointment with Dr. Tatum at Mayo Clinic could not be missed.

Through the process of tests and evaluations, we stayed for a few days.  The meeting with Dr. Tatum offered the first appointment to meet Dr. Ricardo Hanel, my neurosurgeon.  So many prayers were being said by so many, at least thousands that I knew of, so many more that I did not know as well.  My involvement with so many Christians, churches, pastors, doctors, the pool of those who believed was becoming a sea of hope.  He had prepared this placement over so many years...I had just not totally realized it until now.

The future involvement placed with Dr. Hanel was already planned by Him!  Through so many prayers around the world, Dr. Hanel's gifts and purpose in life was on time!

I John 1:5-7
"And this is the message which we have heard from Him and announce unto you, that God is light, and in Him is no darkness at all.  If we say that we have fellowship with Him and walk in the darkness, we lie, and do not the truth:but if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanseth us from all sin."

And these are the "very words" that were shared to me by so many of my brothers and sisters in Christ during their support of prayer.  In my own devotions every morning, I believed this truth!  His light was/is shining!!  He would "lighten" up our answers to prayer!  He's got this!

THE LAST DAY AT THE HOSPITAL

September 25, 2013

James 1:19-20
"Ye know this, my beloved brethren.  But let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath;for the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God."

I had deleted much of what was said about this time.  My reason?  My heart perhaps was not in the right placement...due to this unforseen journey.  The many "questionable" parts in my new position were not yet answered.

There were 4 different doctors assigned to me during this hospital stay.  None of them were in total agreement of the diagnosis.  What type of tumor? Was it operable?  Did I have a TIA?  Was my heart working appropriately...perhaps I would need a pacemaker?  Was there a problem with my left carotid artery?  And on and on.

The nurses who attended me constantly, became my best answer to prayer.  Yes, I needed a second opinion...a good one! Where to go? Many alternatives were mentioned to us.  All of our children had come to be with us during this time.  We made lists and lists of the many places we could go.

Prayer is the placement He guides us through.  We prayed and the answer was, the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville,FL.  The person who had recommended this place had been my husband's manager.  There had been another one of Bob's co-workers who had needed this type of help.  Bob called and spoke with his friend before we prayed for the answer.

We made the necessary calls to our insurance company and PCP.  The first appointment was made with Dr. Tatum, the neurologist within the next few weeks at Mayo Clinic.  His Timing is everything...so we learned.

A STAY AT THE HOSPITAL

September 25, 2013

Now all of my daughters were with us!  One had to fly from Virginia to be there, and later in the day she told me a new baby was on the way!  She knew I needed this information...to help me gain strength in this new journey.

I was attached to a heart monitor, an IV, and a few other mechanical pieces to follow my process.  Some drugs were given based on uncertain opinions.  I refused some of them, because they did not make any sense given the current information.

Again, the nurses were my mainstay, constantly asking me questions to be sure I was still able to "think" and speak properly now.  A physical therapist and speech therapist were sent for evaluations.  Everything was coming back to normalcy.  The one main agreement was that I had an epileptic seizure...probably focal.  The rest was still unknown.

Kathy, the lady I worked with daily showed for a visit.  She was quite concerned.  She said, Joan, you have never ever called in sick in all these 2 1/2 years we have worked together.  Yes, that is true, I really enjoyed my job working with her and the constant "newness" of each day.  We had many customers and vendors we dealt with in custom decorating.  Her job was a designer, mine was to calculate, communicate, and accommodate the process on our computer system first and then constantly update the status with all those involved.  Many interactions with so many people, and I loved it.

I had also worked part-time for a Dr. as his PCT on at least one Saturday or two a month.  The patients were so much a part of sharing my work, but also God's grace in caring for them.  I had also become an EKG teacher at a small institute for part-time evenings.  I love teaching!  The students were given as much information and directions needed to pass their license exams as I had.  So enjoyable!

So, now, God had given me a totally different journey...one that seemed so strange...who would have thought...a brain tumor????  No way...

Through my previous experiences He had brought me...I realized a new Purpose from Him was on the way...

I Peter 5:10 - 11 And the God of all grace, who called you unto His eternal glory in Christ, after that ye have suffered a little while, shall Himself perfect, establish, and strengthen you. To Him be the dominion for ever and ever. Amen.

FIRST ER VISIT IN OVER 14 YEARS!!

September 24, 2013


Unknown to so many people...this day holds a "heartfelt" time of my heart.  My mother's birthday was September 23rd.  Every year this day comes to me...I remember her in love and grief.  At work on that Monday, it was somewhat difficult...this was nothing new to me.  I never shared her "angelversary" with anyone at work, it was my own burden to bear with Jesus.  His light and love always brought me through this day, in the 50 plus years it had come and gone.  I missed her so...

So, Tuesday morning the 24th, started as usual, but with a huge "change".  My husband and I had done our routines of getting ready for work, and then a short time to share plans for our day.  This time however, Bob, could not understand the words I was saying in context.  He said, "Something is wrong, let's sit a moment and see if relaxing will help".  He started asking questions...my answers made no sense.  Although they were real words, they did not correlate to the topic.  He said, we need to go to the ER! Now!

The short drive to our local hospital brought new "weirdness" to me.  I started to forget things and people I knew well....the most horrific loss of memory was my grandson's name...Nathan...I had forgotten it.  I also forgot who my associate at work was...Kathy...whom I had worked with everyday for the past 2 1/2 years!
Bob was very very concerned!  At the ER, the office was empty, it was just us there.  Attention was immediately given and questions were asked that I could not answer.  Like who is the President of the United States?  I could not remember....What is your social security number?  Nope, not remembering.

The swiftness of my assessment was daunting.  My heart rate had slowed to 43, my blood pressure was all over the place, sometimes low, sometimes higher.  The chronic tinnitus I had experienced for the past 10 years had become a huge "roar"!  The Dr. let my daughter, Sherry, who had just arrived, turn music on for me to help.  Music is so much a part of my life and brings me comfort.

They told us that I needed to be admitted for further evaluation.  And so the start of my new journey in life had begun...

After many tests, a brain tumor had shown up on my MRI.  The type of it started as a meningioma with the neurologist, and then the neurosurgeon said, no, it was a cavernoma.  Needless to say, we were lost in the sea of diagnosis.

That night I prayed...I sang my favorite songs while showering, the IV location had needed adjustment which allowed this "open" part of my stay to become "me" again.  All that came to mind was "He's got this"!